4/21: Dear Corona Diary, I hope this entry finds you in good health. I am Ailsa. For my first entry, it only makes sense to fill you in on my quarantine journey so far. It all started on Friday the 13th of March. I was beyond excited to have two weeks off from school because honestly, my life was slowly falling apart, and I needed time to myself to pull it together. I was way too far behind on my online class and I had about four loads of laundry to do. I handled the first two or three weeks pretty well. I have three older brothers who all attend college in Philadelphia, and two of them came home to be quarantined with us. I am very close with my brothers and not as close with my parents, so having them home has definitely helped me stay busy. I have been staying on top of my schoolwork, mostly because I have nothing else to do. I watch a lot of Netflix and Tik Tok. Also, if any of you need a new show to watch, start watching Ozark on Netflix. It’s fantastic and so addicting. Since I’ve been spending a lot of time on my phone, I started to realize that I have been distracting myself from my emotions and trying to suppress my feelings. This has happened to me before and I definitely do not want to let it get any worse, so I am trying to let myself feel things and cry when I need to. I cry a lot actually. I miss so many of my favorite people and it has taken a huge toll on me mentally. I never realized how much I thrived off of human interaction, and I will never take it for granted again. I honestly just cannot wait to hug all my friends again.
xoxo, Ailsa
4/26: Hello!! Okay so time is very weird to me lately. I have a hard time remembering what day it is and everything I do is out of whack. Something that makes no sense to me is that I still look forward to the weekends. Nothing changes for me on the weekends now, but I still get excited when I wake up on a Friday morning. Let me fill you in on my weekend. On Friday morning, my dad came in and woke me up and my dogs followed in as usual, greeting me with lots of snuggles. I stayed in bed for a little while and then decided I should shower and put on makeup for once. My parents went up to our lake house for the night, leaving me and my two older brothers home alone. I love my parents, but it’s nice to have time apart and be able to bond with my siblings. I decided to relax outside for a little bit with my dogs because it was so nice and the weather here is very inconsistent. My brother and I took my dogs for a drive and we listened to music. We finished the night with a movie and then I facetimed my friends for a couple hours. On Saturday I had some iced coffee and then met a few friends at a local park. We stayed in our cars and talked for four hours!! It was so nice to have a conversation with people other than my family. My mom made a delicious dinner and then we facetimed my other older brother. Sunday was a very relaxed day. I did not get out of bed until about 1:30. I get teased a lot for how late I get up, but it doesn’t bother me whatsoever. I watched New Girl (another great show on Netflix, go watch it right now) for a while and then we had family dinner. My brothers and I hung out and then I showered. I’m so thankful to have such a great support system. It makes all of this much more bearable.
xoxo, Ailsa
4/28: Hello!! I apologize in advance because this post is going to be all over the place due to my scatter-brained-ness. I just made up that word and I hope you like it. I would like to mention the fact that the Pentagon has literally released UFO videos and the world is not even shocked. Personally, I have always had a feeling that there are other creatures in the universe besides humans. I find it very odd that the videos are being released at this time. Is the government just trying to distract us from being locked in our homes?? The timing is very odd. And why aren’t people talking about the UFOs more? We seem to be so involved in the Corona virus news and we are failing to see what else is happening in the world around us. The panic and anxiety that has been created is not helpful. I am honestly concerned about our society and how our lives will go on after all of this, although I am trying to stay hopeful. On an unrelated note, yesterday was my brother’s 22nd birthday!! I made a cake for him, completely from scratch and it turned our pretty well. We originally wanted to order food from the Plaza, a local Greek restaurant, but they are closed. This made me very sad. Luckily, my parents are fantastic cooks and they pulled together a delicious Greek meal. This morning I woke up and I dreaded getting up even more than usual. I have been feeling drowsy and out of it for the last couple of days, so I am trying to snap out of that. We are starting to receive our graded assignments from the high school and I feel very unmotivated. I want to see my friends and sit in an uncomfortable desk again. Hopefully my lack of motivation doesn’t last much longer.
xoxo, Ailsa
4/30: Hello everyone. To update from my last entry, my motivation is still nowhere to be found. Today my dad and I had to go up to the high school to pick up my belongings that were left in my locker. It was so sad so pull up and see my empty parking space. Not to mention how dead the school looked. Everything is spooky and weird!! Anytime I go out for a drive, the roads are bare and it feels so illegal to even walk out of my house. The seniors had to pick up their caps and gowns yesterday, this makes me so emotional. My best friend is graduating and I have not even seen her in weeks. I will never sit in study hall or choir with her. I won’t even be able to sing at her graduation. Sometimes when I start to feel sorry for myself and my friends I catch myself saying things such as, “Ailsa, people are dying. Shut up and get over it.” Then I remind myself that our feelings are still valid and real. If any of my classmates are reading this, it is okay to feel sorry for yourself sometimes. Supposedly restrictions might be lifted in a week or so?? Part of me hopes this will happen, but the other part of me is nervous for what will happen when everyone starts socializing all at once. Maybe I will stay inside for a couple weeks and see what happens to the rest of you. Also, I have found a new hobby. It consists of online shopping and filling my cart up, leaving the tab open for a couple of days, accepting reality, and closing the tab. I hope I am not the only one who does this. If anyone is reading this, please comment the weird things you do to keep yourself from going completely insane!!
xoxo, Ailsa
5/3: Corona journal, I have fantastic news. I got a little sunburnt today!! As I have previously mentioned, I love the weekends. This weekend my family went to Findley Lake where we have a lake house. The lake is fairly small, this gives it a sense of community. My brothers and I drove up on Friday night with our dogs, it’s about an hour long drive. We met my parents at the house and my dad was making ribs!! After dinner, my brothers had a fire down by the lake and I had too many s’mores. I have no regrets. The next morning we went out on the boat for the first time this season and I had some goldfish pretzels for breakfast. Something about being at the lake causes me to eat nonstop. We just relaxed all day and listened to music. On Sunday morning it was so beautiful out and we went for a short boat ride before heading back home. Being on the boat just makes me look forward to the summer with my friends and having fun sleepovers, and then I remember the reality of the summer. It’s nice to have a change of scenery and see other people on their boats, it makes everything seem normal. I can’t even express how fortunate my family is to have a getaway. When I got home I suntanned for a little because it was so warm and who knows when we will have nice weather again. The best thing that has come from quarantine in my house is how much my mom has been cooking. We have had so many amazing meals, and tonight my mom decided to make a yummy Asian meal. My brother and I made fried wontons and my mom made a chicken and bokchoy stir-fry. I am so full and happy.
xoxo, Ailsa
5/6: Dear Corona journal, I am starting to feel nervous about several of the counties opening back up, everything about the future is so uncertain. This makes me feel quite uneasy, but I am trying not to worry about things that are out of my control. I just try and focus on my schoolwork and get through it as quickly as possible. On an unrelated note, this is my last post and I feel very sad. I have become oddly attached to this journal and I like to think of myself as an actual blogger with an actual audience. I keep telling myself I should start a journal so I can look back on it when I’m old and cringe at myself, but who knows if I will get around to that. I actually have read through a few of my peers’ journals because I miss them and I want to feel involved in their life. Sorry if that is violating, but I can’t help myself. I miss class with everyone and having semi-intellectual discussions. Unfortunately, I will not be attending SBU for my senior year, my schedule just made more sense without it. I am going to miss the drives to class and the building so much. The thing I will miss most of all is waking up later than I would have to for regular high school. I will probably be tardy every day of school in the fall, but what can you do? I am actually very excited for senior year and creating new memories with my closest friends. Cher, if you’re reading this, I will miss you very much and I want to thank you for teaching us all how education should really be. You have no idea how much that means to me. Good luck with everything in the future 🙂
xoxo, Ailsa
Creative Minds 